There was a girl from upper east coast

Who loved guitar heroes the most

She would play day and night

Without experiencing daylight

Until, “expert mode” she could boast

I have a good friend from SJI

Rumored to be only 3 apples high

He is a person easily amused

And not someone with a short fuse

How he have grown, this friend of mine

For rich and fatty food he loves to dine

But no matter how much you have grown

Daren Apples Tan, let it be known

The retarded things we did together

Believe me, I shall always remember

We used to play Shark at the pool

Acting like many a retarded fool

Training under the coach from hell

Obscenities, vulgarities, he loved to yell

But no matter what, we would survive
And celebrate it with high fives

We stayed over so often at each other’s place

Trading secrets, immersing in shared solace

I know you can’t tell when I fall asleep

But sleeping wide-eyed is actually hip!

We share eye-candies almost every single day

Hopefully they would be ours, we would always pray

Amazing holidays were spent together

You always have to be my navigator

My partner in crime for jacking Bong

We know not teasing him is just wrong

Your pet dog Snoopy was a timid one

It reacted to my songs like a vampire to sun

I remember the nights of clubbing together

You pinned against the wall, a memory forever

The way you eat chili is inspiring

I can never do that without perspiring

A commando warrior you eventually became

Going through hardship, earning fortune and fame

And now that you’re a student once again

A polo centreman you have also became

I hear they call you the phantom of Sheares’

And how IPPT has now become your curse

But no matter what, nothing has changed

And nothing in this friendship I would rearrange

You been my friend through thick and thin

When I say I love you, that’s what I mean

So Happy Birthday to you, Daren Apples Tan

For today you shall turn a grand twenty-one

today i said goodbye
to a girl who told a lie
a lie that seemed too good at first
but slowly proved to me its worth
it promised love so pure and true
something i have never knew
but alas it all came to pass
for dreams like these could never last
but through this lie i found the truth
the 6 best months of my youth

ok, this isnt exactly breaking news, the operation has concluded and i hold my heart when i say, this has been the worst one week of my entire teenage or adult life...

yours truly had undergone a surgery the correct my overbite, and it essentially involved extracting two perfectly healthy, long rooted teeth, sawing off the segments of my lower jaw, in the spaces where the teeth were and retracting the lower jaw altogether.

sounds pretty straight foward? i thought so too when they explained it to me, ok, to be fair to the dentists, they have been telling me since sec 4 that i required to go for the operation, i have had quite a few friends or friends' friends that have undergone it. I knew what it entailed, the numbness, the non-eating. Sure, i knew everything there was in the book.

what i didnt count on was how quickly i needed to adapt to these sudden changes, and when it all started hitting me in the face at such an alarming rate

firstly i had to endure all the needles and tubes the doctors hooked me up on, for hours a day, i felt like the monster out of the Frankenstein film. I even had a fricking tube stuck in my urethra right after my surgery. when they pulled it out, it was the worst kinda pain i ever felt before, the type that made u lament why u were born a male.

secondly the swelling, i cannot feel my entire lower mouth, it has swelled to humongous proportions, visiting friends claim that i look exactly like a chipmunk that has been storing food all winter in its cheeks. i now know how Neck has been feeling all his life, i shall not laugh at u again my dear friend.

thirdly, the goddamn hunger, pardon the cussing, but food to me has always been my holy grail, ANYONE can attest to that. once taken away from my lips, food has now become my darkest bane, my fingers are always on standy on the remote when watching the telly, ready to change the channel the moment a fastfood commercial come on or a advert for a restaurant goes on air. I have lost approximately 8 kg since my operation and it has been only 5 days. Trust me, its more muscle mass then anything else.

thankfully for the people around me, i have been pulling through so far, i thank all my friends who have visited me in the hospital and when i was discharged, the get well messages and encouragement has been the single strongest motivation i have had to survive this operation. and to that special girl, for turning up daily without fail, always cheerful never complaining, content with just being there, thank you so much

its off to the dentist for me, fret not, despite all this complaining, i am fully aware the worst is behind me... watch out world, there is a new CJ coming to town, literally.

and yes, you fuckers, the mole is still there 

its mystical how time seem to sprout wings and fly 
it wont be long before, our age we have to lie
life has evolved so drastically since our childhood
days when its seems we could never be in a foul mood
i guess growing up has it perks and all
but who can blame us for wanting more
to be like peter pan in never never land
would be like a desert without its sand
so let us stay resolute and embrace the future
for in life the memories and reality we have to sunder

 

Happy 20th Birthday Daren Tan Jun Hao aka APPLES

thanks for :

-sharing eye candies (no matter where we are, reading room, cafe, clubs)

-stayovers at each other places with me serenading snoopy and the talking till one of us fall asleep (ok i know i am usually the one, and u cant really tell)

-the training sessions we went through, the tough times where we endured louis wrath to the happier times where we played shark (oh and of course your unforgettable shots through the side nettings...amazing stuff)

-our uncountable clubbing escapades together where we seemingly always take turns to look after each other and... all the various clubs we been to... from your parties at chinablack (shiok) to DXO (insane) to the parties at MOMO (shiok for you i THINK...but not too great for the wall) till our present day mambo escapades ( btw it wasnt me at O'bar that night, certain it was an impostor)

-always laughing at seemingly nothing and coming up with the most nonsensical of jokes all the time...though there are times i wish i had duct tape with me, like when you and pewee kept repeating each other sentences throughout my entire chicken cutlet meal

-the phone calls we have ever so often that stretches sometimes for hours and extend to nearly every imaginable topic under the sun...now that we are out of army and no longer have guard duty time to kill, i do however hope that this tradition continues

-the meals that we always have... from blooie's to chomps, prata house to bah chor mee... the locations might always be changing but one thing is for sure, the laughter's always constant

-for always ganging up on poor bong or yourong or marc or leon, it doesnt really matter who but the incessant jacking are always are joy to carry out

-and of course for being such a big target yourself, with your escapades (the WALL, yeap i know i am repeating it) from time to time and enduring the handsome diyang's apple (and peanuts)jokes                                               

last but not least for always being there for me, and you know i will be there for you (leaky puke plastic bags and all)... have a smashing time in bangkok bro, happy birthday

its over... a done deal... sealed witht the essence of two years of my youth... i had it pretty easy though with my lengthy paid medical leave... the memories however stay very fresh

as i slow marched through the parade square... i recall the first day where i strut through the gates of tekong ferry terminal, a proud perhaps somewhat arrogant young man, fresh from his junior college days..but as the weeks wore on... the air of invincibility all but vanish.. leaving a bald unassuming recruit that has been brainwashed to believe he is indeed the lowest life form in existence, that sergeants and officers were living gods. you live only to book out and relish every second of it, to book in however was worse then somewhat whacking you on the back of the head with the thick end of the stick.

you pass out of recruit-hood 9 weeks later... you lose so much weight that your girlfriends contemplate to sign on. the bonds with ur brothers in arms have become so very tight.. sadness seeps in as you realise your time together has drawn to a close. 

promises by high ranking officers to pull you into their respective formations so you could play waterpolo for them came to naught... tomfoolery made you pass on the chance of command school, so now you pay the price of being a man... worse still, a rifleman.

its the same old shit again... greenery is now your concrete, fresh rations your Morton's meal... you plough through the earth to dig a hole big enough to fit you with a tool 3/4 the size of an A4 paper. from your hole, you stare out at endless stretches of trees. you no longer bother swatting away the creepy crawlies around you, they become your only source of entertainment, your live National Geographic. 

when the sky rumbles, your heart sinks. if you thought rain was sucha spoiler when your indoors snug and warm, think again. the water drips down your helmet, for a while it seems so familiar... where have i seen this before you wonder... it dawns on you... its exactly the same scene when your sitting indoors watching the rain drip down the awnings and roof shillings except this time its only centimetres away from your eyes.

but before long its over, your presented your beret and you embark on urban warfare. life seems to pick up. or has it? deployment at the airport or jurong island might seem remotely interesting but the holidays that you burn can really exasperate you. imagine spending new year eve up on a watch tower in jurong island, with only your buddy as company, or christmas eve in a bunker on sembawang wharf.

so i am not surprised i heave a sigh of relief when i realise its all over. but truth be told, the experiences i had, i will hold dear because retrospects always do seem sweet dont they